Forever a Hero
by Anybodys
Summary: Once a smuggler, forever a hero.  Character death.  Set a little after RotJ.


She had always assumed that she would have a happy ending like the stories told to her as a little child. That one day she would be married, have a family and just have an overall great life. There had already been kinks along the way, but those had been worked out; and had even fallen in love along the way.

But now she was looking in the face of utter defeat.

The night before he had come into her room to tell her he would be accompanying some men from the Republic on a trip to some planet that she barely knew anything about. There were always trips like this, but every time there was one she was always scared that something would happen. She was always afraid that she couldn't ever see his lopsided smile again or run her fingers through his hair or find that glimmer of mischief in his eyes.

Be safe, she had told him. He gave a small, sad smile and held his arms out to her. I always am, he had assured her.

And then like times and times before she was embraced with his strong arms and felt his chin rest on top of her head as she buried her face into his chest.

Every time they did this, there was always a silence that overtook them. She felt as if the silence was burning the memory into her mind, making it impossible to ever forget in the future. Time always seemed to tick slower when she was in his arms, as if it were purposely stopping for only them.

Then he said he had to go to bed, and he winked at her for no apparent reason and left. As usual, a part of her yearned to chase after him and throw her lips on his, but she knew better than too, no matter how madly in love they were.

The next day came quickly. As he was packing up in the hangar, she caught sight of him and started heading over to him quickly, calling his name. His eyes slid up, and a big, boyish grin came on his face as he held his arms out and put his lips on her when she came to him. It wasn't anything extravagant; only the simple yet strong kiss that she loved so much.

He broke away from her and started heading up the ramp. He called out, Love ya', Princess, and she gave him a smile and waved.

That was the last she ever saw of him.

When the news arrived to her, she felt like everything dropped to the bottom of her stomach: her feelings, her thoughts, everything. She was in a daze, barely understanding what was being said to her. It couldn't possibly be true. He promised he'd be safe. They said that he did it for the good of others, and that those men would be eternally grateful, but inside her mind she was wondering how _she_ could be eternally grateful. All the happiness had washed out from her.

Everybody seemed to come to her asking what was wrong. Mon Mothma was trying her best to comfort her, but at the same time telling her that she should've never fallen for him wasn't the best way to console somebody. It made her feel even worse, as if she were guilty in someway.

Luke was there. Always by her, always sincere and solemn, but he didn't understand. He didn't know how it was like to be in love, to know that somebody would give everything up just to see you happy.

But after giving up what mattered most to her was a different story.

When she told Luke about her guilty feelings, he would always tell her to stop because it was an ambush. He went a hero, and she should be proud. No matter how much she tried to be proud and happy, she couldn't. All she felt was despair, the world closing in on her. A black hole sucking out her life. Nobody else mattered but him. All she saw was his smirk, all she heard was his voice in her ear.

At night, her heart would wrench even worse when she would imagine what could've happened. They could've gotten married, had children, maybe. Choking sobs would always follow with endless tears. She couldn't stop weeping, she couldn't focus on anything but him.

Sometimes she would go down to the hangar and wait in vain, hoping a familiar ship came sailing in and he would come out of the ramp with his arms open, and she would jump in them and they would kiss and embrace for hours on end. But no matter how long she sat there and watched, she never saw it. The tears would come back, and she would run to her room and lock herself in and sob again.

There was no healing to her heart. It was always contorted with pain, always aching. The only way it would be healed was if he came back. All she needed to do was to see his face. She kept repeating to herself that she would never fall in love again; she would keep waiting for his return

Even now, there's a pale figure sitting at the edge of the hangar with deep, black pits under her eyes, hair trailing down her face, just staring, waiting for something...


End file.
